#Royjamie fanfiction

[hesherehesthere]

I'm Begging of You (Please Don't Take My Man)

Author's Note: I wrote this fic over a year ago, in December of 2023, overthought the hell out of it and proceeded to let it disappear into the depths of my computer. I dug it out the other night and realized I actually really liked it, so with a small amount of editing I have now decided to release it into the wild. This fic features established RoyJamie, but there are hints of future potential RoyJamieKeeley.

Ao3 Link: (X)

Summary: Jamie worries about Roy leaving him. Roy has no desire to do so. Basically the song Jolene, if Jamie was Dolly Parton.

Jamie sees them for the first time across the pitch.

It's the middle of training, and Jamie had just scored a rather impressive goal. He had glanced up to make eye contact with Roy, hoping for an encouraging look or an affectionate eye roll, only to see the other man already preoccupied. He’s talking with Keeley.

The two of them had been on better terms as of late (Roy had told him as much), and she’s a little closer to him than had been typical as of the past year or so, her body posture more casual and relaxed.

Roy says something and Keeley laughs, her whole face lighting up as she gently pushes Roy’s shoulder. Roy smiles back, a soft sort of thing that loosens his usually tense features. It’s the kind of smile that reaches his eyes, the kind that makes Jamie’s heart feel like it might just burst when it’s directed at him.

Jamie feels something twist in his gut, and he tears his eyes away. It suddenly feels like he’s looking at something private, something not meant for him.

He and Roy have been dating for a few months. The tension between them had built slowly over time, eventually culminating in Jamie sucking Roy’s dick in the boot room. After a lot of confusion and uncomfortable sharing of feelings, they became something official. Jamie trusts Roy, he really does, but he can’t help the way it feels a bit like poking at a bruise to see Roy and Keeley being so affectionate with one another.

Maybe it’s because he and Roy have had their fair share of squabbles over Keeley in the past, maybe it’s because of how Roy had once told him to back off because he wanted to pursue a relationship with her again.

Maybe it’s because he himself can see how amazing Keeley is.

Keeley is beautiful and smart and charming and incredible in ways that are damn near indescribable. Roy had loved her once. Jamie knows what it’s like to love her.

Regardless of the reason, the jealousy that spikes when he sees them together is something he’d rather not address, so he shoves it down.

--

The next time the jealousy hits, it’s the middle of the night.

Jamie had always been a bit of a restless sleeper, and when he had woken up at 3:00 in the morning, knowing that he and Roy would be getting up soon for training anyways, he hadn’t even bothered trying to fall asleep again. He had rolled onto his back, scrolling aimlessly on his phone; he had been doing this for a handful of minutes when he was distracted by a grunt from Roy. A few seconds later Roy mumbled something under his breath.

A hint of a smile tugs at Jamie’s lips, and he rolled his head to the side, eyes running affectionately over Roy’s features. If he ever dared to comment on the fact that Roy sometimes talked in his sleep, the other man would surely vehemently deny it. It was endearing, in Jamie’s opinion, since Roy wasn’t exactly the most talkative person, even on his best days.

It’s when Jamie is distracted by Roy’s face, considering leaning over to press a kiss to his hairline, that Roy again mumbles something under his breath.

“Keeley-”

Anything else that Roy says afterwards flies over Jamie’s head, his brain immediately going fuzzy as he focused on the name. It made his stomach churn a bit, and his breath caught in the back of his throat. It’s like it’s stuck there, and if Jamie didn’t know any better, he would say his throat was closing in. After a few seconds, he sucked in a harsh breath, eyes finally focusing on Roy’s features again.

The other man seems somewhat confused, his face scrunched up and his eyebrows pulled together, even in his sleep, but then he mumbles Keeley’s name again, much softer and breathier than before.

Jamie can’t help the tears that spring to his eyes, and the name seems to settle deep into the pit of his stomach. His heart aches and twists, and he takes a deep breath.

He rolls over then, so his back is to Roy, and pulls the blankets up over himself. He closes his eyes tightly. It’s just a dream, he tells himself. You can’t be mad at him for things that happen in his dreams.

Jamie doesn’t sleep.

A half hour later, Roy is up and getting ready for training. He doesn’t mention Keeley, or anything about his dream.

--

Jamie tries to ignore it, he really does.

He trusts Roy not to cheat on him. That’s a given. Keeley wouldn’t go for it either; she knows they’re dating, and she’s happy for them. He knows that. But the more he thinks about it, the more he considers the possibility of Roy leaving him.

Jamie tries not to dwell on it, he really does.

It’s a theoretical, something that doesn’t affect him until it happens. It’s just- he wouldn’t even blame Roy, not really.

He supposes that’s how he ends up on Keeley’s doorstep after training, hands twisted into the front of his hoodie, the hood itself pulled up over his head. He’s already knocked once, and he’s moving to knock again when the door swings opens, revealing a confused looking Keeley.

“Jamie? Is everything alright?” Her voice sounded concerned, like maybe she was worried about his wellbeing. It made Jamie feel guilty, but he pushed forward regardless.

“Yeah, alright,” he replied, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Good, yeah. I just wanted to… talk to you. About something. Can I come in?”

He watched as concern flickered across her features. Then she pulled the door open a bit wider and stepped out of the way. “Yeah, yes. Of course, Jamie. Come in.”

Jamie nodded as he shuffled into the house, his shoulders pulled up so far they almost reached his ears. His body felt heavy, and it was difficult to lift his feet to even cross the threshold. Keeley was still talking behind him, and he only catches the end of it. “-it must be something serious, if you don’t want to talk to Roy about it.” She paused, seemingly considering something. “Have you talked to Roy about it? Whatever it is?”

She’s rambling a bit, Jamie thinks, and he felt bad for putting her in such an uncomfortable situation. “I- no,” he said after a beat. “No, I haven’t. It’s actually… I mean, it was Roy that I kind of wanted to talk to you about, actually.” He turned to face her as he spoke, his hands gripping hard at the hem of his hoodie. If he pulled any harder, he was pretty sure he could rip it, but it’s the only way he knew to soothe the anxiety that was building up inside of him.

Keeley seemed surprised by his words, and she tensed, her eyes scanning over his face. “Alright,” she said, slowly, carefully, like she didn’t want to say the wrong thing. “Did something happen? Did you have a fight?”

Jamie swallowed hard, wetting his lips once more as he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. “No,” he said quietly, and it was difficult to get the words out. “I just… no. We didn’t fight. I just… I’ve noticed you and him getting… closer. Lately.”

Keeley’s face softened a bit, but her eyebrows shot up. She almost looked hurt, and it made Jamie’s heart clench. He could cry if he let himself. “I- Jamie-” she started, but Jamie cut her off with a shake of his head.

“I- I’m sorry, Keeley, just- can you please just let me talk?” He could tell he was starting to get desperate, he could hear it in his own voice. He always had been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, and he internally cursed that fact.

Keeley bit down on her lip, but then she nodded. Jamie took a deep breath, shooting her a grateful look. “Thank you,” he said. “Right. It’s just that- you two have been getting close again and I just know that if… if you decided that you wanted to get back with him, he’d pick you.”

“He wouldn’t pick me, Jamie,” Keeley said in the silence that followed. “Not over you. He cares about you. You don’t hear the way he talks about you.”

“No, Keeley,” Jamie said, his voice coming out sharper than he intended for it to. He sighed, running a hand over his face as he struggled to get the words out. “No, I mean- I know I can’t compete with you, yeah? You’re, you’re just so, so fucking beautiful and kind and sweet- you’re perfect. Better than me. I wouldn’t even blame him, I just- I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t have him. Especially if he, he left me for someone else.”

Keeley chewed on her lip again, and Jamie could tell that she was struggling with a response, a torrent of emotions flying across her features. “I’m not trying to take Roy away from you, Jamie,” she said finally. She reached out, untangling Jamie’s hands from his hoodie and taking them in her own, giving them a gentle squeeze. She smiled at him, trying to catch his gaze, but Jamie noticed that the smile was weak and didn’t quite reach her eyes. He squeezed back.

“I… I know how you feel about him,” Keeley continued. “I get it, how he makes you feel. If you… if you really want me to back off, I will, but I think you should probably talk to him about this, yeah? Since it doesn’t seem like you’ve told him anything about how you’re feeling.”

Tears immediately sprung to Jamie’s eyes at the words, and he closed his eyes, pulling his hands back and running them over his face. His palms dug into the backs of his eyes. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry to… fucking spring this on you, like this. It’s just been, been eating at me. I just- I love him. I love him so much, Keeley. So much that it, it fucking hurts sometimes.”

A soft, broken kind of noise escaped Keeley’s lips then, and she reached out again to squeeze his shoulder. “I know, Jamie. I know, and I would never do anything to disrupt that, to get between you. I swear that to you. You- you know that, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jamie said, nodding quickly and shooting her a desperate look. “I- yeah. I know. It’s not- not like that. I know you’re not- not trying to do nothing, and I just- I’m sorry. I know it isn’t your, your fault or responsibility or- I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m being an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are,” Keeley said, but she smiled softly at him again.

Jamie laughed, shaking his head. “I think it would just- make sense to me. That he would want you instead of me. You two were always so, so good together and like I said, you’re amazing-”

“You’re amazing too, Jamie. But I do think this is probably something you should talk about with Roy, yeah? He won’t know something is wrong if you don’t tell him about it.” There was something in her expression that made Jamie think that maybe she had been in this position before.

He swallowed hard, a soft noise escaping his lips without his permission. “Yeah. Of course, you’re right. You’re always right.” The corners of Keeley’s lips tugged up at that, and she stepped forward into his space to wrap her arms around his neck in a tight hug. Jamie tensed slightly, but a few moments later he relaxed into her touch, arms tight around her waist as he pushed his face into her neck.

“He had a dream about you last night,” Jamie mumbled after several moments, face still pressed against her. “Was talking about you in his sleep.”

Keeley pulled back then, yet another sad smile plastered across her face as she ran her fingers through his hair. It took everything in Jamie to not lean into her touches. “Well, a dream is just a dream, yeah? Sounds like something you should talk to him about.”

--

Jamie almost lets it go completely.

He’s tempted to never bring it up again, to let the conversation with Keeley go down as yet another shameful thing he’s done that he never wants to think about again (except in the dead of night, when his brain decides to remind him of said things).

But then, evening came, and they’re at Roy’s apartment, Jamie sitting on the couch and watching Roy shuffle around the kitchen. He speaks before he can even think better of it. “I talked to Keeley today.”

Roy grunted in his way that means he’s encouraging Jamie to continue speaking. “Oh yeah? I didn’t know you were seeing her today,” he said, still focused on whatever chopping or sautéing he was working on.

“Yeah,” Jamie replied, shifting a bit in his place on the couch, his legs coming up to his chest as he curled up a bit tighter, eyes scanning over Roy’s face. “I didn’t either. I just wanted to… talk to her. I guess.”

Roy looked up at him then, raising an eyebrow as his face scrunched up in confusion. He stared at Jamie in a way that made him squirm, that made him feel like Roy knew things about him that even he himself didn’t know. “What did you want to talk to her about?”

Jamie bit down on his lip, his eyes flicking up to meet with Roy’s. The other man was still staring at him, and Jamie swallowed hard. “About… well, it was about you, I guess.”

Roy’s eyebrows shot upward, a confused look on his face. Then he responded, his voice rough. “It was about me? What the fuck would you have to say to her about me?”

“Well…” Jamie sighed softly, hand reaching up to run over his face. “I just… I mean, you two have just been… getting closer lately.”

Even without looking at him, Jamie could hear the way his breath caught, and he knew Roy was still staring at him. Then, the footsteps were sounding through the room as Roy moved to stop in front of him, grabbing Jamie’s wrist gently and pulling his hand from his face.

Jamie swallowed hard, refusing to make eye contact for a minute, but Roy gripped the bottom of his chin, tipping his head back to look into his eyes. “Jamie,” he said, his voice insistent. “Do you- did you think I was cheating on you? Because I fucking swear to you that I wasn’t. I wouldn’t fucking do that-” Roy’s hand had moved from his chin to cup the side of his face and Jamie made a soft noise, his own hand reaching to cover Roy’s and squeezing gently.

“No,” he said quickly. “No, Roy, it’s not that, it’s not that at all. I know you wouldn’t. I just- I don’t know.” Jamie chewed on his lower lip, fingers tracing over Roy’s hand still gripping the side of his face. “It was more that I thought… I don’t know. Keeley is just so amazing, yeah? So, so smart and pretty and… I just thought it might be an easy choice for you. If she decided she did want to get back with you.”

Roy froze in place then, hand tensing against Jamie’s face. A few seconds later he pulled back. Jamie made a desperate noise, grabbing gently at the other man’s fingers as he removed his hand, but Roy simply stood in front of him, arms by his sides, eyes still boring holes into Jamie’s skin. “You thought what would be an easy choice for me?”

The tears were back then, instantly springing to Jamie’s eyes, and Jamie reached up to swipe at them. It was embarrassing- especially like this, with Roy staring at him- that he couldn’t get through without crying. He swallowed hard. “Leaving me and getting back with her?” He knew the words came out weak, and when he dared to look up at Roy, he could see the emotions fighting across his face.

Anger was at the forefront; Jamie was familiar with that expression on Roy’s face. Hurt and sadness were also mixed in, to a lesser degree, and a quiet, pained noise escaped Jamie’s lips at the sight. He was just opening his mouth to respond when Roy did it for him. “Why would you think that?” he asked, and his voice was rough, eyebrows knitted tightly together and making Jamie shift uncomfortably. “I love you, I’m not fucking leaving you.”

“I know,” Jamie is quick to insist, nodding his head quickly and reaching out to grab Roy’s hands again. “I know you love me. I love you too. I love you so fucking much. I just- fuck, I don’t know. I just know how you feel about her, don’t I? You, you used to love her too. And like I said, Keeley is just so- so fucking amazing, and you were dreaming about her the other night, and I just- I don’t know. Seems like she would be the… better choice.”

For a moment, a flicker of confusion made its way across Roy’s face, before he shook his head. “I didn’t know I was dreaming about her,” he said quietly. “I don’t even remember what it was about. But I- I’m glad I’m getting close with Keeley again. I like being around her. She’s… a nice person.” Jamie’s stomach twisted at the words, but he nodded. Roy wasn’t wrong, after all.

“I’m glad that Keeley’s my friend,” Roy continued. “But I had no fucking plans of fucking leaving you for her.”

Jamie made a soft noise, balling his hands up inside the sleeves of his hoodie, shrinking back into the couch a bit more. “I- yeah. I mean… she’s amazing. Keeley is. I’m glad she’s my friend too. I’m- I’m sorry. I just- I don’t know. Guess I’m just… feeling insecure or something.”

Roy sighed, running a hand over his face, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose before nodding. “I- yeah. I just… I wish you would have come to me first, instead of going to her to… what? Ask her not to fuck me? Makes me feel… like shit. Like you don’t trust me.” It was clear that he was struggling to get the words out without shouting, and it settled uncomfortably inside of Jamie.

The panic rose up quickly and Jamie straightened up from where he was curled up on the couch. “I- no, it wasn’t-” He paused, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to sit with the other man’s words for a minute before continuing. “Yeah,” he said instead. “I- from, from now on, I’ll come to you, yeah?” He waited until Roy nodded before continuing. “But I- this wasn’t about trust. I trust you, I know you wouldn’t cheat on me, or, or anything like that.”

“But you… you didn’t trust me to not leave you. To not leave you for someone else.”

Jamie swallowed hard over the lump in his throat, glancing up at Roy before continuing. “But it’s not just… someone else, is it? It’s Keeley. I just… I wouldn’t blame you. She’s just… so perfect. Beautiful and kind and smart and funny and just - so many things I’m not. Better than me.”

“She’s not fucking better than you, Jamie. You’re all of those things too- fucking beautiful and kind and smart and all that shit. You’re also fucking amazing, incredible-”

“Roy,” Jamie cut him off, a desperation to his tone that he knew was there, but he wasn’t able to do anything about it. “I’m not, though. I’m not any of those things. One of these days you’ll fucking realize that-”

Roy growls at him then- honest to god growls- and it sends a chill down Jamie’s spine. He clamped his mouth shut, biting down on his lip and swallowing roughly as he looked up at Roy through his eyelashes.

“I don’t fucking like you talking bad about yourself,” Roy said, practically still in a growl.

“Just, just telling the truth, aren’t I?” Jamie said, curling up in on himself once more. “Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“But it isn’t fucking true.”

“You, you might think that now, but it’s not… I mean, it’s just a matter of fucking time. Before you realize you were wrong about me.”

Jamie had closed his eyes as he forced the words out, and he felt the couch dip beside him as Roy sat down next to him. A few moments later he felt Roy’s hand on his face, thumb running over his cheekbone. “That’s not going to fucking happen, Jamie. I’m not wrong about this.”

Tears sprung to his eyes once more, and Jamie clenched his eyes shut even tighter than before, the moisture overflowing and starting to run down his cheeks. “It’s just… hard to believe. I try so hard, but it’s like… I don’t know. Feels like I’m not- like I’ll never be good enough for you.”

“I- why the fuck wouldn’t you be good enough for me?”

“Because- I mean, you’re you. It’s like, like all my fucking dreams come true, being able to, to be with you, but I just- I don’t know. Keeley would be better for you-”

“It’s- Jamie, Keeley and I aren’t… I mean, we’re getting closer, yeah. After we both properly fucked it with her, right?” Roy ran his fingers gently through Jamie’s hair and Jamie choked out a watery laugh, wiping at his eyes and nodding. “But I mean- you’re fucking important to me, yeah? I would be… upset if I couldn’t… be with you anymore.”

Roy seemed to struggle to spit the words out, but Jamie could tell he was trying. “But you like Keeley too,” he starts, and Roy’s eyebrows pull together. Jamie can practically see the gears turning in his head.

“I… like Keeley, yeah,” he said slowly, his hand still cupping Jamie’s cheek. His thumb traced along Jamie’s cheekbone, and Jamie closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of his touch. Then a kiss is being pressed to his forehead, and Jamie melts into it. “But I don’t- not instead of you, Jamie. It’s not fucking like that.”

“Then what… what is it like?” Jamie opens his eyes to scan over Roy’s face, looking for an answer in the other man’s expression that he doesn’t think he’s going to get.

Roy shook his head, and he looked conflicted. “I… don’t know. Still trying to… figure that out. I guess. But I fucking love you, and I’m not fucking leaving you. Couldn’t get rid of me if you fucking tried.” His tone is joking (at least, for Roy), but Jamie could hear the sincerity in it too.

The tip of his tongue darts out, Roy’s eyes dropping to his mouth at the action. “I’m sorry,” Jamie finally said. “I’m sorry I’m not, not confident enough, that I’m so insecure-”

“Oi,” Roy snapped, his voice rough in a way that forced Jamie’s mouth to clamp shut. “This is me you’re fucking talking to. Don’t have to apologize for that shit.”

Jamie giggled a bit at the words, hand reaching up to card through Roy’s hair. He nodded, leaning in to kiss him a moment later. Jamie drew back after a minute, pressing a kiss to the corner of Roy’s mouth, a few along his jaw following soon afterwards. “Thank you,” he whispered, and the emotion in the words was noticeable even to his own ears. “Don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“I could say the same fucking thing,” Roy replied, and Jamie hummed, resting his forehead against Roy’s.

For the first time in a while, Jamie was almost able to believe that everything was going to be okay.

--

Jamie had thought they were going to drop it after that.

That was true enough for a couple of weeks, but after what Jamie could only assume were a few in depth conversations with Doctor Sharon, Roy brought it up again.

They were at Jamie’s house this time, lounging on the couch, Jamie tucked into Roy as the other man traced gentle patterns into his skin. “So, I’ve been thinking about Keeley,” Roy said, right into his ear, and Jamie felt himself tense.

He tried not to act on the rising panic, instead dropping his head back to Roy’s shoulder so he could look up at him. “O-oh, yeah? What have you been… been thinking about?” He could hear the quiver in his voice, and Roy must have as well. A few seconds later Roy was smoothing his hair back and pressing a long kiss to his forehead.

“Nothing scary, I promise.”

“You can’t promise that,” Jamie mumbled, and Roy smiled, grabbing one of Jamie’s hands and squeezing.

“I was thinking about a couple of things, actually,” Roy continued, seemingly ignoring Jamie’s concerns. “For one, I think we should probably apologize to her, for the whole thing, y’know?”

Jamie felt his body relax slightly at the words and he sighed, nodding as he twisted his fingers together with Roy’s. “Yeah,” he said softly, and the word caught in his throat. “I know. I’ve been thinking about that too. Wasn’t- wasn’t very considerate of me, was it? Wasn’t her fault I was feeling so insecure.”

Jamie could feel Roy nodding against him at his words. He rubbed his thumb over the top of Jamie’s hand before he spoke again. “Two, I also…” Roy trailed off then, seemingly trying to wrap his mind around what he wanted to say next. “Well, I wanted to ask how you felt about Keeley. Since you were so convinced that I was going to like… I don’t know. Leave for her. Do you feel that way about her too?”

Instantly, Jamie could feel every muscle in his body tense, his eyes going wide as he attempted to squirm out of Roy’s grip. He ended up straddling Roy’s hips, hands planted on the other man’s chest and staring down at him. “Don’t tell me you’re feeling insecure now too,” he said, eyes scanning over Roy’s face. “After all that.”

Roy snorted, shaking his head as his hands moved up to grip at Jamie’s hips. “No,” he said, affection obvious plastered across his face. It caused something warm to swell up inside of Jamie. “No, it’s not like that. Know you’re obsessed with me.” His tone was teasing, and it forced some of the tension out of Jamie’s body.

“Oh,” Jamie said, his brain desperately trying to keep up with whatever Roy was trying to put down. “I don’t… I guess I don’t… understand, then.”

There was a long pause as Roy tried to figure out his next words. “I’ve been talking to Doctor Sharon,” he said finally.

I fucking knew it, Jamie thought, but before he could say as much, Roy was continuing.

“I care about you so fucking much,” Roy said. “And like I fucking said before, I’m not fucking leaving you. But I… I care about Keeley too.”

Jamie shifted slightly, hands twisting slightly into Roy’s shirt. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes again, but he forced them back. He could have a conversation about this. “You… do you want an open relationship or something? Because-”

“Jamie,” Roy said, his tone intense in a way that immediately forced Jamie’s mouth shut. “First of all,” he said. “I don’t even know if Keeley wants me like that anymore. Might have fucked it up too bad to recover. But I asked you a question, didn’t I? About how you felt about her.”

Jamie could feel his eyebrows twisting together, his brain struggling to catch up. “I- I don’t know,” he said finally. “I mean, I think she’s fucking amazing. She means… means so much to me. I… but I mean, I’m with you, I love you, Roy.”

“I love you too,” Roy is quick to reassure him, thumbs rubbing circles into his hips. Jamie bit down on his lip.

“Then what-”

“I was just wondering about how you would feel about maybe… inviting her over sometime. I can cook dinner, we can apologize to her for dragging her into our relationship problems.”

Jamie made a soft noise, eyebrows still knitted together tightly. Roy lifted a hand to rub his thumb against where they were furrowed, trying to relax the muscles. “I just don’t understand,” Jamie said finally. “Why did you ask me if I had feelings for her?”

Roy let the air settle between them for a few seconds, and Jamie’s breath caught in his throat. “Dani has two girlfriends,” Roy said finally, and Jamie huffed out an annoyed breath.

“What does Dani have to do with this-” Jamie snapped, before cutting himself off. His eyes widened, and he glanced down at Roy, who had an amused look plastered across his face as he waited for Jamie to catch up.

“I- wait,” Jamie said, his mind a mess of emotions and thoughts he couldn’t quite figure out. “Are you fucking serious?”

Roy shrugged. “I mean, it’s not fucking up to us, is it? But I mean… yeah. I’m fucking serious. It’s what I was trying to figure out before, I think. When we talked before.”

“So, if Keeley wanted to, then you’d- we could all- all of us? The three of us?”

“If Keeley wanted to, yeah,” Roy confirmed. “And, I mean, if you wanted to.”

“If I wanted to?” Jamie said, his voice raising in volume, excitement bubbling up inside of him. “I mean- that would be fucking brilliant, Roy.”

Roy laughed softly, a rumble in the back of his throat that sent warmth radiating through Jamie’s body. “Alright then,” he said. “We can talk to her about it. Have her over for dinner, ask her what she thinks.”

Jamie lit up at the words, nodding quickly before leaning down to kiss Roy hard. “Yeah, yeah,” he said, practically stumbling over his words. “Sounds good to me. Can’t wait.”

[hopefulromances]

The Most Dangerous Thing

Written as part of the 2024 @rjbigbang

With artwork by: @nashapixie

“In penance for their uprising, each district shall offer up a male and a female between the ages of 12 and 18 at a public "Reaping." These Tributes shall be delivered to the custody of the Capitol. And then transferred into a public arena where they will Fight to the Death, until a lone victor remains. Henceforth and forevermore this pageant shall be known as

The Hunger Games.”

-- Suzanne Collins, The Treaty of Treason, The Hunger Games

Jamie Tartt, youngest ever victor, District Four. Roy Kent, victor of the 50th Hunger Games and the second Quarter Quell, District Twelve

In the 75th Hunger Games, the tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors, forcing Jamie Tartt and Roy Kent to meet. To meet in the games, to fight in the games, perhaps to die in the games.

41k Words

Tags:

Roy Kent/Jamie Tartt, Hunger Games AU, Canon Typical Violence, Violence, Injury, Angst, Like HEAVY on the angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, James Tartt Sr is a bad dad, Emotional Abuse, Referenced Sexual Abuse, There’s A Happy Ending I Promise,

Betaed by Izzy

Cheered on by Dap, Belle, Rosie, and Leah

Playlist:

Achilles Come Down, Gang of Youths

Man Made Lake, Barenaked Ladies

my tears ricochet, Taylor Swift

Fool, DJO

Rocketman (It's Gonna be a long long time), Elton John

The Fall, Imagine Dragons

Safe and Sound, Taylor Swift ft. Joy Willaims and John Paul White

In the Woods Somewhere, Hozier

Next to Me, Imagine Dragons

Francesca, Hozier

In a Week, Hozier ft. Karen Cowley

[gay-little-goblin]

une royjamie d'environ 3000 mots en français, ça intéresserait quelqu'un ? J'en ai une sous le coude, mais je publie sur ff et le fandom français là-bas est. inexistant

[jakeonao3]

you are in the earth of me

royjaime, >1k words, rated T

Roy and Jamie get into a heated argument and Jaime accidentally declares his love for him.

tags under the cut

Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 03 Finale, Post-Episode: s03e12 So Long Farewell (Ted Lasso), Yelling, Idiots in Love, idiots to lovers, they're still idiots though, Getting Together, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Accidental Love Confessions, what do you mean that's not a tag?, guess I'll have to write more of that trope then, Declarations Of Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Jaime thinks it is, It is not, Not Beta Read, Rated T for swearing

[femplague]

Me when Ao3 tells me I've already left kudos on a fic I could have sworn I've never read before:

[secretsoftheuniverse1987]

Writing about Roy Kent going to therapy and running into the issue of having the same therapist as Jamie Tartt does make me think there should be a fic where they go to couples therapy before they are actually dating.

[rjbigbang]

ROY/JAMIE BIG BANG REVEALS: WEEK 3

Reveals Schedule | AO3 Collection | gif credit: @billy-crudup

Tuesday, September 10: Team #4

📝 Fic: Everybody Wants to Be on TV by ABubblingCandle (ao3) 58k words | gen, celebrity hunted AU, friendship, reality tv 🎨 Art: Everybody Wants to Be on TV by poshxtotty (tumblr) 3 illustrations + 2 edits | scenes from fic, also embedded in the fic

Thursday, September 12: Team #18

📝 Fic: the vastness between by SmileHoney (ao3) 48k words | post-canon, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, long-distance relationship 🎨 Art: edits (part 1 / part 2 / part 3) by kentstartt (tumblr) 9 in-universe docs | texts, social media, and a video chat edit

Saturday, September 14: Team #16

📝 Fic: Make my World by brainwashpapi (ao3) 25k words | omegaverse, university/college AU, omega!jamie, alpha!roy, mating bites, heats 🎨 Art: ART for Make my World by armadillo1976 (ao3) 3 illustrations | scenes from fic, shared alongside quotes

Sunday, September 15: Team #14

📝 Fic: old aches become new again by moonlight_litany (ao3) 14k words | hurt jamie tartt, major character injury, angst, hurt/comfort 🎨 Art: Embedded in fic by nashapixie (tumblr) 1 banner + 2 edits | collage of moments + motifs

[eggcompany]

Fanfic Masterlist (Oneshots)

Smuts are marked with 🔴 NonSmuts are marked with 🔵

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

MultiChapter Masterlist

Supernatural

Mtf Castiel x Ftm Dean - Momma's Got a HUGE Cock 🔴

Cas and Dean get Deaged - Kids Who Were Never Children 🔵

Nonbinary Gabriel x Little! Sam 🔵

Little Cas (With Daddy Dean) 🔵

Gabriel x Nonbinary Sam - Getting Ready For A Date 🔵

High School AU - Dean x Benny - Dean x Cas 🔴

Trans! Castiel x Dean - Modern AU🔴

Transwoman Cas x Transwoman Dean 🔴

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

Sherlock

A/B/O - Omega Sherlock x Beta John 🔴

Catboy! Sherlock meets John's friend Lestrade 🔵

Sick/Comfort - Sick Sherlock x John 🔵

Little Sherlock x Daddy John - Brat Sherlock 🔴

Omega John x Omega Sherlock 🔴

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

The Witcher

Lactating Geralt x Jaskier 🔵

Modern AU - Chubby Jaskier x Fit Geralt 🔵

Sensitive Geralt x Jaskier 🔴

Stomachache Geralt x Comforting Jaskier 🔵

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

Hannibal/HEU

Adam x Nigel- Corner Store Peepshow 🔴

A/B/O - Female!Hannibal x Will x Adam x Nigel x Duncan 🔴

Female! Hannibal x Will- Pain In The Ass 🔴

Will x Duncan, Will x Adam and Nigel- A/B/O 🔴

Young! Hannibal x Will - Starlight Boy 🔴

Dogboy AU- Puppy! Will x Duncan 🔴

Dogboy Will x Hannibal 🔴

Sub Will x Dom Hannibal - Lingerie 🔴

Little! Will x Daddy Hannibal 🔵

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

Marvel

Little! Bucky and (Temporary) Caregiver Sam and Thor 🔵

Shy Sub Peter x Daddy Tony - Stealing Clothes 🔴

Bucky and Thor - Friendship - Tower Life 🔵

Sub Bucky x Daddy Steve 🔴

Omega Bucky Gets Helped by Doctor Strange 🔴

Tired Tony x Stephan 🔵

Trans Bucky x Steve - College AU- Does it Matter? 🔴

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

The Hobbit

Trans! Kili x Tauriel - Voyeurism - A Lovely Man 🔴

Sick/Comfort - Sick Thranduil, Caring Legolas 🔵

Fatherly Thranduil and Depressed Legolas 🔵

Legolas and The Hobbits - Cuddling 🔵

Thranduil and Legolas - Attention seeking Legolas 🔵

Hurt Kili x Curious Tauriel 🔵

Little (prisoner) Kili x Caring/Fatherly Thranduil 🔵

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

Castlevania

Virgin! Alucard x Trevor x Sypha - Wagon Fucking 🔴

Alucard x Trevor x Sypha - Trevor's Birthday Present 🔴

Trans! Alucard x Sypha/Trevor - Stomach Cramps 🔴

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

Gotham

Ed x Oswald- Trans! Oswald AU- Bleeding Gold, My Love 🔴

Ed x Oswald- Neighbors AU- Neighbors to Fucking 🔴

Ed x Oswald- Asylum Oswald x Office Worker Ed 🔴

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

Ted Lasso

Dog Hybrids - Roy x Jamie - What a Nasty Little Mutt 🔴

A/B/O - Alpha Roy x Beta Jamie 🔴

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

MHA/BNHA

A/B/O- Bakugou, Hizashi and Aizawa - Baby Bakugou's First Heat 🔵

Littles Are Known - Little! Bakugou, Hizashi and Aizawa 🔵

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

Gabby x Illya x Napoleon - Big Baby 🔵

Illya x Sad Napoelon 🔵

Hurt/Comfort - Illya x Napoleon 🔵

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

The Umbrella Academy

Sub Diego x Dom Eudora - DIego's a Good Dog 🔴

Depressed Diego - Comforting Klaus 🔵

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

Teen Wolf

Drag Performer Stiles x Derek - Femininomenon 🔴

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

The Punisher/Daredevil

Hurt Matt - Comforting Karen - Poor Vigilante 🔵

ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılıılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı

Dead Boy Detectives

Edwin x Cat King - No Sex 🔴

Edwin x Cat King - Have Pity, Poor Kitty 🔴

Arcane

Jayvik- Viktor's First Orgasm- Between Buddies 🔴

Jayvik- Slip of Though- Viktor x Hexgems🔴

Others

Pushing Daises - Ned x Chuck - Caught Masturbating 🔴

Alex Genya (Jon Bernthal) x Daryl Dixon - A/B/O 🔴

Twilight x Supernatural - Littles Are Known 🔵

NCIS - Littles Are Known - Little! Tony, Timothy, Ziva 🔵

[devinwolfi]

The 6x9: a RoyJamie shortfic style

So, I've come up with a thing. A new drabble variant, intended specifically for those RoyJamie fans out there. May I introduce to you, The 6x9! And before you say anything... not like that. Or, maybe like that, I don't care. The 6x9, coming very obviously and very unoriginally from player numbers, is a half-drabble-ish form consisting of 54 words, which some of you may have already guessed if you remember your times tables. This is inspired by the 49-word 7x7s of the Blake's 7 fandom, popular during the printzine days.

Do you have what it takes to capture a meaningful moment in just 54 words? Can this moment happen whilst the lads are 69-ing? Possibly. I leave that up to you. Go forth and prosper, or something.

Steps to Writing a 6x9

Think of a thing you would like RJ to think, do, feel, say, etc.

Write it down! Don't be afraid to say too much or too little. Say what needs to be said. The rest comes next.

Trim it down, or beef it up, until it hits 54 words

Double-check to make sure the words are good, if not, rinse and repeat until they are

Be proud! You wrote a thing!

The AO3 tag can be found here

[haveyoureadthisfanfic]

Summary: The bubble had to burst. Every fucking bubble in his whole fucking life has burst at one point or another.nonamesplz He remembers the game during his last season at Chelsea when the bubble burst and reality set in — he was slow; he was old; his career was going to come to an end sooner rather than later. He remembers Keeley freaking out on the couch when the bubble burst and reality set in — he was smothering her; he was too much; they weren’t as “perfect and compatible” as he thought. So, yeah. He knows it will burst. He know this thing (cause there is no way in hell he’s putting an actual label to it) that’s started to be the fucking bright spot of his life will have to burst at some point. He doesn’t expect it to burst on a random Tuesday evening in early July, with Jamie laying next to him -- sprawled out, naked, and with that post-orgasm blissed-out gaze that Roy’s become all to fucking fond of. *** While in the midst of figuring out their relationship, Roy and Jamie must handle the sudden passing of Roy's sister.

Author: nonamesplz

Submitter: @jayofolympus

[ultralightpoe]

Ted Lasso Masterlist

All my Ted Lasso Works here! Enjoy!

My MAIN Masterlist is here!

Last Updated : 1-31-24

-ALL WRITING IS AT A PAUSE BUT REQUESTS ARE OPEN!-

-Jamie Tartt-

Midnight Rain (Midnights Album Event)

Bejeweled (Midnights Album Event)

-Roy Kent-

Anti-hero (Midnights Album Event)

[hesherehesthere]

Goddamn, This Bastard I Am

Author's Note: This is the "I project heavily onto Roy" fic I've been threatening for a while now. I finally wrote the damn thing and made myself sick over it in the process. Enjoy!

Ao3 Link: (X)

Summary: Roy reflects on various events from canon while Jamie and Keeley are in Brazil.

The ticking of the clock on the wall seems to increase in volume with every passing second, the sound burrowing its way underneath Roy’s skin.

Roy sits on the couch of his house, unable to tear his eyes from it. He holds a glass of whisky in one hand, his pointer finger swiping along the rim in an absentminded fidget. Jamie and Keeley had just left on their trip to Brazil for Jamie’s Nike sponsorship, and he hadn’t been able to focus on anything else.

Jamie has been texting him updates over the past hour or so, seemingly unphased by how royally Roy had fucked up. That, or he’s pretending. Jamie was good at pretending.

Prick act, his brain says.

At least Keeley was still upset with him, as she should be.

His phone lights up and vibrates beside his leg, and Roy allows his eyes to wander over to the screen. There is a preview of an image, and a heavy sigh escapes him as he grabs the phone from the couch and unlocks it.

A picture of Jamie greets him; the other man is sitting in a chair near the airport gate, face flushed from apparent exertion, and his tongue is stuck out.

‘made it to our gate’, is the message that accompanies it, but Roy can’t tear his eyes away from the photo. He can just make out a hint of bright pink and long blonde hair in the corner of the frame, though Jamie has mostly cropped Keeley out of the photo. Roy wonders if it was Jamie or Keeley who had insisted on that.

Probably both of them.

He groans, turning his phone off and taking a long drink from his glass. He drops his head against the back of the couch and stares at the ceiling.

You really fucked it up now, Kent.

The voice in his head is loud, pounding like a headache and thrumming through every inch of his body.

Probably one of the only good things in your life and you fucked it.

He didn’t know when he had started thinking about Jamie as something good, instead of a vehicle for his own self-hatred, but at some point, he had.

In a moment of clarity, he realizes he never answered Jamie’s text, snatching his phone from the couch a second later. He swipes it open and responds with a thumbs up. As soon as the message is sent, his stomach begins to tie itself up in knots as he stares at the exchange. He groans again, locking the phone and tossing it out of arm’s reach.

Don’t know what he sees in you. You can’t even carry on a basic fucking conversation.

From where Roy had tossed his phone, it vibrates again, and Roy considers leaving it. However, every second he ignores Jamie feels like another fight he’s fucking instigating. It eventually gets to him. He shuffles to the side, leaning over to snatch the phone, slightly sloshing his drink in the process.

‘you should have come with us, coach.’

Roy is still processing that when a second text follows.

‘could have yelled at me to keep pace, maybe we wouldn’t have been so close to being late’

A complicated mix of emotions swirls through Roy at the message.

The voice in his head uses that confusion to pounce.

You really are a fucking bastard. He thinks the only reason you like being around him is to yell at him.

He’s typing out a response to the message before he knows what he’s doing.

‘You’re better off without me there.’

Jamie leaves him on read.

---

Roy’s eyes scan over Jamie, who is seated on the other side of the booth. Traces of blood are still present on his face and hoodie, mapping out the memory of where Roy had hit him.

His own shirt feels breezy from where Jamie had torn it, but he can’t bring himself to care.

Dragging Jamie to his kebab place had seemed the most sincere form of apology he could think of as they had stood on Keeley’s front porch, but he hadn’t considered the way it would make him feel to actually have Jamie sat across from him.

What the fuck were you thinking?

Roy wants to apologize, to Jamie, and to Keeley, but he can’t figure out how to do it in a way that doesn’t feel like putting a bandage on an open wound thrice the size of it.

Jamie isn’t looking at him as he eats, the chicken kebab Roy probably would have ordered for him anyways almost halfway gone. Roy still hasn’t touched his.

The silence between them feels heavy, like a physical weight on Roy’s shoulders, but Jamie doesn’t seem to be as affected as he is. That, or he’s really good at pretending.

No one knew what was going on with his dad for fucking ages, of course he’s good at pretending. Don’t you remember the whole prick act?

Roy clears his throat, trying to force down his racing thoughts. Jamie glances up at him momentarily, but when he realizes that Roy doesn’t have anything to say, he goes back to his kebab.

It was your fucking idea to go to Keeley’s in the first place, the voice in his head reminds him for the thousandth time.

He’s a better man than you. You just had to go and drag him down with you.

Roy huffs, grabbing his kebab and taking a vicious bite, as if that would somehow shut up the voices playing on repeat in his head.

You tricked him, you know. You saw how fucking excited he was to go for a drink with you. But you had to go and open your goddamn mouth. You should have just let it go.

Roy knows he should have let it go, this fucking voice of guilt didn’t need to keep bringing it up.

“You alright in there, coach?” Jamie’s voice cuts through the haze of Roy’s thoughts, and he snaps his eyes up to look at him from where he now realizes he had been glaring at the table.

“Huh?”

“You looked like you wanted to kill your kebab. I know they’re like, unreasonably good, but-”

“I’m fine.”

An unreadable expression passes across Jamie’s face at Roy’s bluntness, but Roy can’t bring himself to apologize.

Jamie stares at him for a few seconds, seemingly putting his thoughts together. “We fucked up tonight,” Jamie says finally. Roy growls, an attempt at a warning to get Jamie to stop talking, but the other man continues despite the threat of more hostile noises. “We fucked up,” Jamie repeats. “But we can’t change what we did. We can only apologize and try to be better in the future.”

Roy gapes, eyes widening slightly as he tries desperately to keep up.

See, told you. Definitely a better man.

“Right,” Roy says instead, his voice a deep growl as he shakes his head, following it up with another bite of his kebab.

He needs another drink.

---

Jamie continues to text him over the following week.

Most of the time, it isn’t anything to write home about. Jamie texts him a variety of stream of consciousness messages, and Roy responds with one-word answers.

Jamie will ask if he’s allowed to eat or drink certain things, and Roy will respond with reasonable answers. Jamie pouts. Roy can’t see it, but he knows Jamie is doing it.

But then.

Jamie sends him photos from the Nike shoot.

It’s late and Roy is sitting in bed, newest novel in his hands, when his phone lights up with the message. He sets the book against his chest and opens his phone.

The photos are accompanied by a flurry of mentions of disclosure agreements and pleading with Roy not to leak anything.

‘you can’t show anyone yet’, Jamie texts. ‘i shouldn’t be showing you yet either, but you’re my coach, so it should be fine’

As if Roy would even want to share them with anyone.

He feels a surge of possessiveness flare inside of him as he taps on one of the photos to enlarge it. He starts to swipe through the assortment, his eyes locked to the screen. They start off harmless enough, but Jamie looks breathless, and they seem to have oiled him up to replicate the gleam of sweat.

In one of the photos, Jamie’s shirt is pulled up to wipe some of the fake sweat from his brow, his sculpted torso on full display.

Roy can feel his face beginning to warm as he stares at the photo, tongue heavy in his mouth.

‘Are these ads for Nike or a porno?’ Roy messages Jamie, but quickly scrolls back in their exchange to enlarge the photo again. He feels the first pang of guilt for looking at Jamie like this, but he already hates himself.

What’s one more log on the fire?

‘they know what the people want ;P’ The message from Jamie appears at the top of his screen, and Roy swipes it away.

His eyes scan over the lines of Jamie’s body- his defined abs and biceps, tits and waist that Roy finds himself wanting to grab. His arse is hidden due to the angle of the photo, and Roy thinks it’s a shame; it would be the perfect photo otherwise.

You’re a fucking creep. The voice in his head is back. Punch him over Keeley and then objectify him when he’s not around.

Roy closes his eyes tightly, sucking in a heavy, shaky breath as he tries to pull himself together. Despite his best efforts, he can feel his cock starting to stir in his shorts and he winces.

His phone vibrates in his hand, and Roy opens his eyes to see another message from Jamie at the top of his screen. ‘do i look good, coach?’

Fuck it.

In a moment’s time Roy bookmarks his novel and sets it to the side, storyline he had once been following long forgotten.

He shoves his shorts down enough to palm himself over his boxers, head tipping back against the headboard as he stares at the ceiling and tries to come to terms with the fact that this is what he’s doing. It wouldn’t be the first time he thought about getting off to Jamie Tartt, but it’s the first time he’s ever followed through.

After a few moments of composing himself, his eyes flick to his phone once again. The screen has gone dark, and he quickly unlocks it once more. He lets himself drink in the photo that is the source of his grief.

Do I look good, coach?

The words swirl through his mind as he stares at the photo, echoing in his head in a familiar voice as he finally pushes past his boxers to wrap a hand around himself properly.

Look bloody fucking gorgeous, Roy thinks to himself. Fucking unreal. And all thanks to me.

Another surge of guilt and an unknown emotion (pride? possessiveness?) flood through Roy’s body.

He fucking did that himself, you self-centered bastard. He would have done it with or without you. You think your bossing him around and yelling at him gives you the right to claim that?

Roy growls a bit under his breath, shaking his head, but swipes through the photos to another that shows his arse more prominently.

That first day that Roy showed up for their morning training and Jamie hard greeted him at the door, naked from the waist down, haunts his dreams. Even back then he thought that he might have liked to fuck him.

His hand works steadily over his cock, visions of an imaginary Jamie pleading with Roy to let him come merging with the reality of the photos in front of him.

Jamie really was a good boy when it came down to it. He would pout and complain, but always followed Roy’s instructions. If he wasn’t sure what Roy wanted, he would ask.

Even while he was away on his trip with Keeley, he was still reaching out to Roy, making sure that he was pleasing him.

You don’t fucking deserve that kind of devotion, Kent. The fuck have you done for him? Made him feel like shit?

Roy grasps at the hope that the echoing thoughts would cause his body to calm down, so that he won’t have to deal with the repercussions of jacking off over one of his players, but unfortunately his cock doesn’t get the message.

He comes not long after with the imaginary sound of Jamie’s voice, high pitched and begging, mixing with his looping thoughts of guilt.

It takes him another five minutes to recover from the intensity of the orgasm, before he pulls his phone out once more.

‘They look good.’

---

The windmills are beautiful.

Jamie is beautiful.

The thought hits Roy like a bomb going off, and his brain struggles to keep up with its sheer explosiveness.

Jamie looks over at him. He is leant forward on the handlebars of the bike, his face somehow both soft and completely lit up in joy.

Time freezes.

When they had arrived in Amsterdam, Roy all worked up in knots over Keeley moving on, this was not how he had expected to spend his night.

He had expected to spend his time yelling at Jamie, telling him what to do while Jamie whined and pouted, but listened just the same. Instead, he had been dragged all over the city and forced onto a bike, vomiting all of his thoughts and trauma, all of which was encouraged by the sheer overwhelming nature of being close to Jamie Tartt.

No, not Jamie Tartt.

Jamie.

Jamie Tartt was someone different- an imaginary figure in Roy’s head- someone that he used as a scapegoat for all of his anger.

Jamie was just Jamie.

Jamie was who he was here with tonight, and Jamie was the person that Roy had been spending every morning with for the past several months.

Jamie Tartt was the person he had yelled at in the bus, but Jamie was the person he had received in return.

“Windmill,” Jamie says simply, waving his hand in the direction of the structure. “See? Told ya they were real.” There is a cheeky sort of grin on his face, his eyes lit up in mischief as he pokes the bear.

Roy can’t find it in himself to be bothered.

“Yeah,” he grunts. “Windmill.”

“Well? Beautiful, ain’t it?”

You’re beautiful.

“Yeah. I guess.”

Jamie giggles, and the sound of it spreads a warmth through Roy’s body in a way he didn’t think possible. “You don’t have to be so old and grumpy all the time, you know,” Jamie says, and he glances back towards the windmill himself. “It’s okay to admit you were wrong.”

There’s a hint of teasing to the other man’s voice, and Roy waits for the anger to start pricking at his skin.

For whatever reason, it never comes.

“Alright,” Roy finally concedes. “I was wrong. They’re beautiful.”

There’s a slight hint of shock to Jamie’s features as he turns back to Roy, but it quickly softens to something lighter and sweeter. “Good. I’m glad you like ‘em.” He pauses for a second, seemingly turning something over in his head. “Come on,” he says finally. “Follow me.”

Before Roy is even able to comprehend the words, Jamie takes off like a shot, and Roy curses under his breath. He was able to get the hang of the bicycle well enough, but starting so quickly is something he still hadn’t mastered.

Eventually he manages to get the bike moving, trying desperately to keep up. He feels a little silly, but after the initial word vomit of an exchange, Jamie hadn’t laughed at him and had been nothing short of encouraging.

 He finally manages to catch up to Jamie, his breath coming out in harsh little pants, when something happens. The wheel must hit a rock, or at least that’s the excuse he makes for himself as he loses his balance, cursing loudly as he veers off to the side before falling to the ground.

Luckily, he lands mostly in a soft cushion of grass and moss. His face burns red in shame as he lays sprawled out on his back, staring up into the covering of trees.

Several moments pass before Jamie’s face appears in his line of vision, an amused smirk playing across his features. “Hey, I mean, you made it pretty far before totally wiping out.”

“Fuck you,” Roy replies, but there isn’t any heat behind the words as he pushes himself into a sitting position.

Once the embarrassment passes, he realizes that the bike is sitting slightly off to the side. Jamie shoves it out of the way with his foot as he crouches down next to Roy. “You fucked up the bike pretty bad, coach. Dunno if you’re gonna be able to ride it anymore.”

He is closer to Roy then, his face barely a breath’s width away, and Roy feels his own breath catch in his throat.

“Hit a rock,” Roy mutters under his breath, and amusement lights up Jamie’s features.

“Of course you did, coach,” Jamie replies, and then his hands are on Roy’s thighs. The touch feels like fireworks to Roy’s flustered brain, and his ability to think immediately flies out the window.

“Let me check and make sure you aren’t hurt nowhere,” Jamie says, and his hands reach for Roy’s sides. “Tell me if anything hurts.” With that, Jamie begins to press over Roy’s skin in short, firm bursts, hands moving to different areas as the seconds passed.

If Roy didn’t know any better, he would have said Jamie was looking for an excuse to feel him up.

“I’m fine,” Roy finally manages to choke out, but the words feel forced. He finds it hard to breathe when Jamie looks up, locking their eyes. Traces of a smile tug at Jamie’s lips.

Roy wants to kiss him.

Roy really, really wants to kiss him.

He pushes the thoughts down as quickly as they come. It wouldn’t be fair to Jamie, who is so young and kind and full of hope, to be dragged down by someone like Roy.

Besides, you’re probably just worked up about Keeley.

Yeah, that’s it.

He’s just worked up about Keeley, and it would using Jamie to kiss him, no matter how desperately his brain is trying to tell him otherwise.

Luckily, after a few moments, Jamie seems to be content that Roy isn’t too badly damaged, and he scoots backwards a bit, putting some distance between their faces and giving Roy room to focus.

“Well, you look alright,” Jamie says. “Even if your head seems a bit fucked up. You don’t have a concussion, do you?”

“I’m fine,” Roy says, instinctively. “I don’t have a concussion.”

Jamie nods, seemingly satisfied with that answer. “Well, I’ll keep an eye on you anyways. Someone’s got to.” He stands up as he speaks, glancing mournfully at the bike that lays off to the side. “You really did do a number on this, though.”

He thinks for a moment, before his face lights up again. “Alright,” he says. There’s a giddiness to his tone that makes dread begin to settle in Roy’s gut. “I have an idea. Stand up.”

Roy pushes himself to his feet as Jamie mounts his bike, which is luckily still intact.

“You can sit behind me,” Jamie says brightly, scooting forward on the bike seat so there are a mere few inches behind his arse. “You grab onto my waist, and I bring us back to the bus.”

Roy groans, his mind racing as he tries to come up with an alternative. When nothing comes, he eventually sighs, perching himself on the couple of inches left after Jamie has seated himself

Once Roy’s arm is solidly slung around Jamie’s waist and they are sitting far too close to comfort, Jamie starts moving.

This is going to be a long ride.

---

What Roy doesn’t expect to receive is a text from Keeley.

The contents of said text make even less sense.

‘Fucking answer Jamie’s texts, Roy.’

Roy blinks in confusion at the message before his brows furrow deeply. He swipes back to his message thread with Jamie. The very bottom of the photos from the Nike shoot are at the top of the screen, and a fresh wave of guilt washes through him before he manages to push it down.

Underneath it were a couple of different texts, but Roy had responded. Not in depth or complicated responses, but that was to be expected.

He swipes back to Keeley’s message. ‘I have been responding. Did he say I wasn’t?’

Anxiety hits him in a wave, and he flicks the switch on the side of his phone, turning off silent mode.

‘He says you’re tolerating him. He keeps trying to start conversations, and you’re stopping them before they go anywhere. He thinks you’re mad at him.’

Panic rises inside of Roy in a matter of seconds. He had been doing everything in his power to ensure that Jamie didn’t think he was upset, and he’d somehow gone and fucked it up anyways.

‘I’m not mad at him.’

‘Then tell him that, not me. I’m tired of being the middleman.’

Roy stares at the text for a minute longer. He couldn’t say that he blamed her. In fact, he fully expected that Keeley would never want to speak to him again after the stunt that he and Jamie had pulled at her house.

Mostly you, though.

‘I’m sorry,’ he texts back.

‘Just fix it, Roy. He’s really fucked up over you.’

Keeley would know better than anyone how it felt to be fucked over by Roy’s bullshit, and he feels the twist of guilt he always does when he thinks about how the two of them had ended. Now he was doing the same thing to Jamie.

‘I’m not mad at you.’ He sends the text before he can second guess it, before he can turn the words over in his head until they spill out his ears. ‘I’ve just been busy.’

Liar. You haven’t been doing anything except wallowing in self fucking pity.

Roy stands to his feet as he waits for a reply, heading towards the kitchen in an idle pace. He grabs a beer from the fridge, the lid of the bottle hissing at him as he opens it. He understands. He’d hiss at himself too.

The ding of his phone brings his attention out of his own thoughts.

‘keeley told you ;-;’

Another message follows a few seconds later.

‘i’m sorry. told her it was fine’

‘But I’m not mad at you.’  Roy is surprised he doesn’t break the screen of his phone with how aggressively he’s hitting it with his thumbs.

‘it’s fine if you are’

‘Well, I’m fucking not. I just have a lot on my mind. But I’m not mad.’

You’re not mad at him, the voice in his head reminds him, and Roy grinds his teeth. But you know you’re a shit person. Everyone is worse off after you’ve been in their lives. You fucking hurt everyone.

He takes a long swig of his beer, staring at the screen.

Fuck it.

‘You’ve been whining about wanting me to see the room. Fucking face time me then.’

His phone lights up with the incoming call a few seconds later.

For a second, he regrets all of the life choices he’s made that have led him to this point. Then he hits accept, and Jamie’s beaming face greets him on the screen.

“Hi, coach,” he chirps, and he grins at the screen. “Never thought you’d miss me so much you’d want to face time me.”

“Shut up,” he mutters, but he can’t ignore the way his heart flutters at seeing Jamie so happy. “If your suite is so fucking great, show it to me then.”

Jamie continues to beam as he does so, flitting around from room to room, alternating from showing his own face to various wide shots of the room.

Finally, the room tour nears an end. “Oh, and here’s Keeley,” Jamie says, flipping the camera to show her. He squishes in close to her side so they’re both on screen, and Keeley’s eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Hi, Roy,” she says, and her voice is slightly tighter than Roy would like. He can feel himself wanting to hang up, to run away from the whole situation, but he forces a smile anyways.

“Hi, Keeley. Good trip?”

Her face softens a bit at the question, and she glances over at Jamie, who is watching her expectantly. “Yeah,” she says, finally. “It’s been nice. Even nicer now that Jamie’s not pouting so much.”

Roy watches as a red flush works its way over Jamie’s cheeks and down his neck, disappearing under the neckline of his shirt. Roy can’t help but wonder how far down it goes.

“I wasn’t pouting,” Jamie insists, making Keeley and Roy chuckle in unison.

“You do pout,” Roy says, voice warm in a way he wasn’t expecting. “Don’t worry, it’s cute.” He blinks in surprise at the words that came out of his own mouth, and he feels the heat rushing to his own face as Jamie’s deepens.

Keeley only watches them curiously.

“I- have to fucking go,” Roy finally manages to choke out. “But I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” He hits the button to end the call before either Jamie or Keeley can say much to protest.

Way to fucking go, Kent.

---

This was for the fucking best.

Roy had to tell himself that this was for the fucking best, or he’d yell.

Fuck, he still might fucking yell.

Keeley was busy, and he was busy, and it just wasn’t going to work.

That’s not why. You’re fucking jealous of her success. No fucking confidence in yourself. She deserves so much fucking better than you. A fucking broken-down ex-footballer that can’t love her the way she deserves.

The words play on repeat in his head as he recites the script he’d prepared. They were busy, it would be better for both of them if they broke up.

He tries to ignore the shattered expression on Keeley’s face as he forces out the carefully chosen words through gritted teeth.

She’s better off without you.

---

“I’m just always fucking everything up, aren’t I?” Roy says, glaring at the floor. Doctor Fieldstone sits across from him, her face carefully neutral.

“Why do you say that, Roy?”

“Because it’s fucking true? All of the relationships I’ve ever had, all the friendships- I fuck them. Ruin everything, no matter how hard I try not to. Everyone’s better off without me in their lives, I don’t bring anything fucking meaningful to the table.”

Roy wasn’t sure he had ever said anything like this in therapy before. He usually got out of his sessions stiff, confused, and unsure of all he had said and hadn’t said. He thought he was typically doing a lot more of the not saying than the saying. The past week had been a lot though, the voice in his head getting louder and screaming more and more frequently.

He hadn’t meant to give it a voice, but it seems he had, just the same.

Now she’s really gonna think you’re fucked up, y’know. You’re not supposed to say that shit out loud.

“Sorry,” Roy mutters, wrapping his arms around himself and sinking back into his chair.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Doctor Fieldstone replies. “How long have you been feeling this way, do you think?”

Roy almost laughs.

A better question would be when hadn’t he felt that way.

“I don’t know,” he says instead.

“Alright. Well, could you give me an example of when you’ve done this recently then?”

“Jamie thought I was mad at him,” Roy says, the words spilling out before he’s able to stop them. “I hadn’t been texting him back right, and he was upset.”

“What did you do about it?”

Roy freezes on the spot, his eyes locked with hers. “I… texted him. Told him I wasn’t upset with him. Then I face timed with him.”

Doctor Fieldstone smiles a bit, and Roy tears his eyes away, staring at the wall as he waits for her to respond. “That doesn’t seem like a terrible solution to me.”

“But I hurt him in the first place,” Roy says. He knows he’s doubling down, but he can’t help it. “I didn’t even know I was doing it, and I hurt him. Just by… being me.”

“We all have the capacity to hurt people, Roy. Intentionally and unintentionally. Sometimes things happen. Sometimes we hurt people. Sometimes they don’t forgive us. That’s life. It’s what we do afterwards that matters.”

Roy is immediately transported back to sitting in the kebab shop with Jamie, when he said something not too different.

“Well, what am I supposed to do then?” Roy asks in a huff. “If I just keep fucking up and hurting people?"

“Well,” Doctor Fieldstone replies, her voice steady. “Unfortunately, I think that until you learn to accept yourself, you might just keep going down this path. You’re running from intimacy because you feel like you don’t deserve it, because you don’t deserve for people to love you, but that’s always going to hurt the people that do love you.”

“Because they’re wrong,” Roy insists. “They shouldn’t love me.”

“But they do. That’s the thing about love.” She pauses for a moment. “Tell me something.”

Roy grunts, but glances at the woman expectantly, waiting for her to speak.

“You love your niece, correct?”

Roy scoffs. “Of course.”

“Of course. And what would you do if she told you one day that you shouldn’t love her? That she doesn’t deserve love?”

The whirlwind of unidentifiable thoughts swirling through Roy’s mind come screeching to a halt. He gapes for a second, then shakes his head. “She wouldn’t.”

“But if she did?”

Roy makes a soft noise, shifting slightly as a sick feeling settles in the pit of his stomach. “I’d tell her she was being stupid, that of course she did. That she couldn’t fucking stop me.”

“So why are things different when it’s you?”

Roy finds himself sitting in that for a moment, a lump forming in the back of his throat as he shake his head. “Dunno,” he finally manages to grit out before clamping his mouth shut.

“Right. Well, I’m telling you right now that people love you, Roy, whether or not you think that you deserve that. Pushing people away doesn’t change that, it just hurts them.”

Roy continues thinking about that for the rest of the night.

---

It’s good fucking champagne.

Roy is still thinking about how Jamie’s face had lit up when he had seen him and Keeley. Now that an hour or so has passed, Jamie and Keeley are practically on top of each other with how close they’re sitting.

He takes another swig from the bottle in his hand, his eyes scanning over the two of them.

They really are gorgeous together.

No matter what his jealousy on the matter is, that is unable to be argued.

Jamie says something, but the words fly over his head, none of them making any sense to his hazy brain. He’s not drunk, he hasn’t had enough for that, but it feels like he could be.

Keeley must think whatever Jamie says is funny though, because she giggles, head lolling a bit closer to his shoulder as she takes another drink.

Then Jamie’s eyes meet his. There is something teasing to the gaze of them, something curious and soft and all of the things Roy once thought Jamie could never be.

He hadn’t thought that for a long time.

Jamie looks expectant though, as if he is waiting for some sort of answer, and Roy racks his brain for what he is supposed to say.

“What?” He asks finally, causing Keeley to giggle again.

“Jesus, granddad, how much have you had?” Jamie asks, but the corners of his lips are tugging at a smile. “Do I have to cut you off?”

“I’m not fucking drunk,” Roy says. “Just tell me what you want.”

He cringes internally, the words coming out harsher to his own ears than he had intended for them to. Jamie doesn’t seem to notice though.

“I said, you should give me a day off from training tomorrow. My leg and the champagne and all.”

Roy narrows his eyes. “Of course you’re taking the day off,” he replies. “You already fucking played injured, you don’t need to train injured too.”

Jamie hums, and there is a softness to his expression that almost has Roy biting his lip.

“Thanks, coach,” he says, before taking another sip of the champagne. “Why did you guys come after me, anyways?” “I already told you, to celebrate,” Roy says, at the same time that Keeley says, “We didn’t want you to be alone.”

Roy freezes in place, his eyes darting away from Jamie to rest on Keeley instead.

She raises an eyebrow.

“We didn’t want you to be alone,” she repeats, eyes locked with Roy as she speaks. Then she turns to look at Jamie once more. “You did fucking amazing in the match, and we didn’t think you should be alone after being injured like that.”

A soft flush makes its way across Jamie’s features as his eyes dart back and forth between Roy and Keeley, before finally settling on his own lap. “I would’ve been alright,” he says, and Roy feels a frustration bubbling up inside of him, pricking at his skin.

“Keeley’s right,” he says, the words coming out before he knew what was happening. “You did fucking fantastic.”

Jamie looks up, the blush across his cheeks deepening slightly as he locks eyes with Roy. “Yeah? I did?”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t go fishing for compliments.” The words are a mumble, but he gets them out before he gets nervous and tears his gaze away. He feels a warmth spreading through his body and he swallows hard.

The silence that settles through the room is almost uncomfortable, and Keeley is the one to eventually break it.

“Right! Well, plenty more champagne where that came from.”

---

Roy isn’t sure exactly how much time he has spent over the past week staring at the wall, but it has to be more than usual.

He knows that Jamie and Keeley will be on their way back from Brazil soon, and he isn’t sure how he’s supposed to face either of them, especially after all Doctor Fieldstone had given him to think about.

You shouldn’t push it, they probably don’t want to talk to you anyways.

Roy groans, rubbing his hands over his face before digging the palms of his hands into his closed eyes.

“That’s not for me to decide,” he mumbles under his breath, immediately feeling exposed. It feels strange, unnatural. He surges forward regardless. “Pushing people away doesn’t help anything.”

He feels his body tense as he speaks. He shakes his head and scoffs before going back to staring at the wall.

This is fucking stupid. You know that’s not fucking true. You being around them is what’s causing the problem-

Before he was forced to continue arguing with himself, a loud knocking from the front door startles him from his thoughts. Confusion immediately takes over; he hadn’t been expecting anyone to come around, and there were only a few people it could be. Maybe he had forgotten about a package.

As he walks towards the door, his mind still mulling over Jamie and Keeley in the background, he is distracted by the sound of hushed whispers and giggles.

He opens the door.

“What the fuck-” Roy cuts himself off when he sees who is standing there; Keeley and Jamie are stood side by side. Jamie’s arms are behind his back, and both of them look like they are trying not to laugh.

For a moment, Roy gapes, before figuring out how to speak again.

“You two weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow.”

“Got an early flight,” Jamie chirps, his face bright and his eyes lit up with excitement. “Thought we’d surprise you.” With the words, he pulls his arms out from behind his back, a bottle of champagne in either hand.

A flood of emotions washes through Roy then, and for a moment he loses the ability to speak again.

“Why?” He finally asks, and Jamie glanced at Keeley, who smiles a bit and tips her head in his direction.

“We figured you’d have been moping around here all lonely and pitiful the whole time we were gone,” Jamie says, and Keeley laughs.

“We didn’t want you to be alone,” she says. “Are you going to invite us in?”

Roy makes a soft noise, stepping to the side and opening the door wider as Jamie and Keeley make their way inside.

They came here for you. They care about you.

Roy sucks in a sharp breath, staring after Keeley and Jamie as they push deeper into his house.

He shuts the door and follows.

[lunar-years]

FIC: and it's back to daydreams (again)

Summary:

It all made only marginally more sense now that they were staring up at Somerset House, and more pressingly the enormous ice rink spread out beneath it. Unfortunately, the alarm he’d felt when Roy first rang his doorbell was also back tenfold. “Uh. What has this got to do with training?” Jamie continued. Roy shrugged. “Balance. Coordination. Control over your body, I don’t fucking know. Anyway, the girls wanted to go, and this is the last week for it,” he nodded his head in front of them, where Phoebe and her little friends were jittering away happily, flapping their hands and hugging each other’s sides. Jamie briefly wondered if he was going to boke all over his nice winter shoes. 

Or, Roy takes Jamie ice skating. Jamie is more terrified than excited, but at least it's an excuse to cling on to Roy. If he shuts his eyes and imagines an alternate universe, he can almost pretend it's a date.

Pairing: Roy Kent/Jamie Tartt

For RoyJamie bingo! Square: Figure Skating.

Have a silly little something this Thursday :)

[gay-little-goblin]

Real talk - une fanfic royjamie fr

"OS. Jamie sonne chez Keeley, le lendemain de son… altercation, avec Roy. Il vient s'excuser, pour son comportement de merde. Et surtout, il vient s'excuser, pour son énorme, énorme mensonge. / ! \ T pour langage, slash, Roy/Jamie, happy end, enjoy!"

[toxicroyjamie]

Roy Kent always remains was actually crazy like every time I remember the fact that that really happened I have to scream into my pillow for 30 minutes

[arsenicalikat]

Summary:

Roy had seen it on Twitter. He hated the site, but sometimes, he needed to see what everyone was saying about his team. When he saw that Jamie was trending, he couldn’t help but look. And for some reason, when he saw it was a sex tape, he couldn't stop himself from inviting Jamie over for dinner. He had to make sure he was okay.